Starting Over

Here I am, 2:48am and blogging. I was browsing weight loss blogs, (story of my life) and came across some really great blogs, both inpiring stories of success, as well as journeys in progress. It made me think that today is as good a day as any to re-commit to my own weight loss journey!

I am the mother of three wonderful daughters, they really are the best! My AJ is 9, my AA is 5, and my little EK is 18 months. Being around them this summer, I am sad :(. When I should be out taking them swimming, playing at the park, or just going outside with them, I'm not! Why? Because I am too embarrassed at my weight, I don't have the energy, and I don't have the desire to do anything that would require any effort. You could say that I had given up.

In HS I was very active. From dancing, to swimming, to volleyball and softball, you name I tried it. I was around 130lbs at 5'4", but very muscular, (well not body builder muscular) but dancing had definetly worked to give me shapely legs. When I look back at myself then, I want to slap myself for thinking I was FAT! Right out of HS I married my HS sweetheart and had my eldest daughter 9 months later. Needless to say, I was no long athletic. I took the whole, "eating for two" a little too literally and gained a whopping 70lbs. Thinking, "no big deal, I'll lose the weight" I continued to eat not very healthy and still didn't exercise. Yeah, I lost a whole 30lbs.

I was stuck at 170lbs for a few years. We moved to Flagstaff where I started nursing school and to my surprise had gained the 30lbs back and was now 200lbs. I joined WWs and was able to lose 30lbs again only to get preggers and have daughter #2. At that point my highest weight was 212lb. I was determined to get back on WWs and actually got down to 164lbs. At that time, I was feeling better, but ALWAYS wanted to lose more. (Never happy!)

We moved back home and I started working as a L&D/Postpartum RN. I loved my job and got very COMFORTABLE. Well after 2 1/2 years, I was back up to 212lbs. I got pregnant with daughter #3 and got up to 225lbs! I couldn't believe it. After losing 20lbs I thought I was on the road to success, until that road became to bumpy for me and I quit.

Well here I am now, after failed attempt after attempt on WW I am now at 225.5lbs. I really need to do something. I feel miserable! I don't like to look in the mirror! My clothes don't fit! I don't recognize myself AT ALL! How did this happen? I am hoping by blogging and through WW online (with the help of my very good friend Shannon) I can finally lose this STUPID weight!!

I know that I am not the first or the last, but I hope this is my success story!